Having helpers and two different kits sometimes doesn't work... not only does it take twice as long to do something (but it's a good 'grandfather/child' bonding experience), sometimes things aren't always as they seem
.
Somehow, instead of the 3.3v regulator, my helper handed me a 7805 (which evidently came from my MR 16 kit that I was working on also), which I promptly soldered into the EtD board w/o even looking (since I had already verified that the 7805 for the EtD was already soldered in the board correctly).
Long story short, I was playing with the MPLAB program (looking at the pickit3 settings AGAIN... when I got an error that there was an issue with VDD... that prompted me to take a look at the regulators and found that I had double 7805's... I de-soldered the 7805 that was wrong and soldered the 3.3v regulater where it was supposed to be and VOILA... programmed the first time
Moral, i guess, is to check EVERY part before soldering
Thanks to everyone who took the time to suggest a remedy... hopefully, this will help someone else (especially if young helpers are involved)!
thanks, again....
Dan