It depends on where the fumes are pointed to. If there's no ventilation in the room you're soldering in, then no, it probably won't be wife approved. You keep the fumes out of your face and that's about it. That said, I don't think the solder smell is nearly as offensive as cigarette smoke and it usually dissipates quickly over time.
Our "extractor" is a re-purposed fan from an old computer case that has been wired to be plugged in on its own. You could also use one of those desktop oscillating fans pointed away from your face or even in a window.
Are these necessary? No. I think the only time we really used it was when we (PK and I) were building SSCs in the garage on a spring day with a light breeze that was occasionally blowing towards where we were sitting. We also had 2 irons going and each assembling several SSCs at a time. (Lots of smoke.)
I know when I was attaching pig tails to smart strings and increasing the distance between some square nodes, my kitchen looked like Cheech and Chong were celebrating the recent legalization here in Colorado. After opening the screen door and turning on a fan, it was cleared out.
Just depends on personal preferences.
