To me, a nice set of headphones are a must for sequencing. They not only help you hear more info but cut down on the noise with missus etc. Also I tend to play the music a bit louder than the average fella. Helps me get in the zone. Now if you're trying to listen to music and tap notes to the beat you're probably too slow and behind the beat. Block out lyrics and other stuff and BECOME the beat. I probably tap the keyboard pretty dang hard if you saw me when I am doing this. Think MORE COWBELL!
Anyway, I think it is really worthwhile to learn this technique. After you learn setting up your beat, you can move on to sequencing musical parts and sections by tapping similarly. I usually limit myself to 4 keys at one time using both hands. Now, when you do this you will not only improve the groove of your sequences but they will not take long to sequencing at all. I probably had 90% of this one done in a couple hours: You are not allowed to view links.
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Login Did you happen to notice most all lights are in groups of 4 or 8. Nearly all music is comprised of 4 beats per section (4/4) 4 keys, 2 hands... Coincidence???
Lastly, if you really just can't groove, don't sweat it. Just go abstract and design some neat looking effects at random. I've seen some really cool examples of this.